Equality at the toilet seat
Women demand equality. OK, I am all for it. Let us settle the arguement once and for all and let us start the debate at the toilet seat.
Wives demand that husbands put down the seat on the toilet after we get done doing our business. This is equality? I mean, the man, after he gets done recycling his Budweiser and wants to rush back to "3rd and goal" is expected to have the presence of mind to put down the toilet seat while he is busy rushing back to the wide screen TV. What do them women expect out of us men? Is this expectation reasonable?
Nope. Us men need to draw the line somewhere. We can't be expected to draw the line in the kitchen or else we will starve. But we can draw the line in the bathroom without disastrous results.
Women post signs that say "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweety, wipe the seaty." Fair enough. I can avoid having to wipe the seat by just lifting it.
But they are not just happy with that, they further demand that we put the seat back down when we are done. Now hang on just a darn minute. Women want equality. But they expect us to BOTH raise the seat and then ALSO put the seat back down. That is not equal.
Women do not want to be surprised by the cold rush of porcelain against skin when they sit down without looking. Us men are reasonable in taking great satisfaction when this happens. Them women want equality after all and it about time we insist upon equality in the bathroom. If we are expected to have the presence of mind to look before we pee we are reasonable in expecting the same out of our women.
If the women refuse to go along with this then I say we go on strike. What do we do? We force our women to look before they pee like they expect out of us. We expect out of them what they expect out of us.
How do we accomplish this? Close the lid. Don't just drop the seat, close the lid. If the women can't figure out how to look before they pee they are going to end up peeing all over themselves. Point made. Equality in the bathroom will be achieved. One small step for MAN in the face of unreasonable demands from women. Equality, at least at the toilet, will be achieved.
Wives demand that husbands put down the seat on the toilet after we get done doing our business. This is equality? I mean, the man, after he gets done recycling his Budweiser and wants to rush back to "3rd and goal" is expected to have the presence of mind to put down the toilet seat while he is busy rushing back to the wide screen TV. What do them women expect out of us men? Is this expectation reasonable?
Nope. Us men need to draw the line somewhere. We can't be expected to draw the line in the kitchen or else we will starve. But we can draw the line in the bathroom without disastrous results.
Women post signs that say "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweety, wipe the seaty." Fair enough. I can avoid having to wipe the seat by just lifting it.
But they are not just happy with that, they further demand that we put the seat back down when we are done. Now hang on just a darn minute. Women want equality. But they expect us to BOTH raise the seat and then ALSO put the seat back down. That is not equal.
Women do not want to be surprised by the cold rush of porcelain against skin when they sit down without looking. Us men are reasonable in taking great satisfaction when this happens. Them women want equality after all and it about time we insist upon equality in the bathroom. If we are expected to have the presence of mind to look before we pee we are reasonable in expecting the same out of our women.
If the women refuse to go along with this then I say we go on strike. What do we do? We force our women to look before they pee like they expect out of us. We expect out of them what they expect out of us.
How do we accomplish this? Close the lid. Don't just drop the seat, close the lid. If the women can't figure out how to look before they pee they are going to end up peeing all over themselves. Point made. Equality in the bathroom will be achieved. One small step for MAN in the face of unreasonable demands from women. Equality, at least at the toilet, will be achieved.
posted by Little David at 11/19/2005 12:53:00 PM
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