Santa and sex

Santa and sex.

Did I get your attention? Well I am going to talk about kids and Santa, and then I am going to talk about kids and sex. What brought my twisted mind to associate the two topics? Well, heck, it intrigued you didn't it? I am at least willing to talk about it, while you are only willing to read about it.

First off Santa. From Maile Meloy comes (this) discussion that some kids are willing to hang on to unreality for as long as they can keep their finger nails dug in. She points out that some kids are willing to aid their adult parents in living the "untruth" too long. I wish to point out to her that at least I share this familiarity with her; in my family the presents were not wrapped either. I think it was because money was tight in my family. Why spend money on wrapping paper when you could instead spend the money on one more present for your kids?

My Mother finally allowed me in on "the secret of Santa" long past the time it was just downright obvious. Finally one night before Christmas I was allowed to help decorate the tree. The myth in my family was that Santa decorated the tree. I almost think the only reason she finally got around to allowing me to help was because I had insisted on staying up late that night and she was not going to put it off for another day. Since it still seemed important that I "keep the secret" that Santa was not real, I did not inform her my younger brother already knew the "real deal".

I do not fault my parents for trying to hang onto fairy tale land for as long as possible when it comes to Santa. Truth is that as long as I was expected to believe in "Santa", "Santa" was a lot better to me then when I became expected to understand that Christmas came on a budget.

But what about when fairy tale land extends to sex education? Just like my little brother learned about Santa from me, he learned about sex education from me. When it came time to educate my brother, I only taught him what I learned on the street. The conversation went something like "F### means when the guy puts his thing up the girls thing." My parents were always unwilling to talk frankly to us kids about sex. We were expected to learn about it on our own.

I vowed to be different. I would be willing to discuss the subject as an adult when my kids were ready, and I would be ready to accept they were ready before I wanted them to be ready. Things did not work out that way. While I will not say I failed, my best of intentions were still stymied.

When I tried to broach the subject with my boys, I was told to shut up by my wife because she had already told my boys to keep their pants zipped. When I tried to bring up the subject with my daughter she, very diplomatically, informed me she was uncomfortable discussing the subject with her father, and she already knew. I guess in every instance I waited until too late.

I can only hope that if my kids ever want to discuss "anything sexual" in an adult manner I communicated I would be open, and not embarrassed, by the subject. I have tried to point out to them that as much as they think they know, and how little they think I know, they came from somewhere, Mommy and Daddy "did it" too.

I think they already know they were not brought by the stork. When, or if ever, they want to talk about sex in an adult fashion with their "fuddy duddy" father I am ready for it.

My kids no longer believe in Santa and they already know about sex.

Perhaps, despite my best of intentions, I did no better then my parents.